Clan Hamilton

On the 10th Anniversary of 9/11

2011-09-11T09:48:00.000-07:00

I don't think that I ever realize how much I am effected by 9/11....still, until the images and stories start to be refreshed in my memory. I tend to avoid it because even though I was on the other side of the United States, In my heart, I might as well have been at the foot of those towers looking up. I think we all feel that way. Do I remember.... I remember. I will never forget.

I remember the stories...
Two years ago I wrote this about some of my memories of that day http://clanhamilton.blogspot.com/2009/09/remembering-911.html . This year I actually started to watch some of the programing that was coming out prior to the anniversary. One of the programs was with President Bush as he described the day and his perspective. At the first sight of the plane flying into the towers I burst into tears. Still 10 years later and it just floods me with emotions and that few seconds in the documentary took me back 10 years and made it seem like it just happened. What I remember most and what usually makes me cry is the stories that come from that day...the story of the lost, the story of the survivors, and the story of just average people who acted and did extraordinary things. This program had not only the President telling his story but several key people also telling their story. Two people featured in the program were then Lt. Heather Penney and Col Marc Sassville. Col Sass, as he is called, mentioned something that shocked me and I did a little research to find out more. On that day, they were DC Air National Guard Pilots in the 121st Fighter Squadron and like everyone else had been told that a small plane had crashed into the World Trade Center Tower. They turned on a TV and quickly realized with the second crash that they would be needed. Within minutes they were given the order to intercept flight 93 as it was heading towards Washington DC. However because they had to go the minute they were given the order and everything was happening at such a rapid pace they had to fly without first arming their F-16's. They knew walking to their planes that the rounds they had on their craft was not going to bring down a speeding 757...which left them both with one option. Col Sass looked at Lt. Penney and told her he was going to take out the cockpit with his airplane...Lt. Penney made the decision in that moment that she would use hers to take out the tail. With the head and the tail gone there would be no forward momentum and the cabin would just fall straight down. Hopefully saving thousands on the ground. They both hoped to eject but they also knew they had to be accurate to make this work which more then likely meant that they were not going to be coming home. The Passengers of Flight 93 however had a different plan...and after taking a vote, they decided to fight back and storm the cockpit. They not only saved the Capitol and countless lives on the ground, but also the lives of Col. Sass and Lt. Penney.

One of the story's that still haunts me was that of the wife and expectant mother that called Peter Jennings and was trying to find her husband. I wrote about her in my previous reflection on 9/11 and I remember what she said in detail. I have always wondered if he made it home to his wife and kids and then I ran in to a story about 11 year old twins that lost their father that day and were born 4 days after 9/11. It caught my attention and as I read it I became 95% sure that this was his wife and his children. I have emailed the story author to find out, but there are to many similarities and now 10 years later, I think I finally know the answer. I know now that he did not make it home.

I remember the images and the video...
Being a photographer, I know the power a photograph can have, sometimes for generations. The images caught on 9/11 still make me catch my breath. The image of the body of Father Mychal Judge, first recorded death of 9/11, after being hit and killed by rubble being carried by the NYFD firefighters. The fireball frozen as the plane hit the south tower, the 3 fireman raising the American Flag after the collapse. The dust covered men and women trying to flee. The Firemen and Police running in and then running back in. The men and women who chose to jump and fall to their death instead of burning. Then there was the video filmed that day by two brothers who were working on a NYFD documentary. The plane flying low over them and then the impact and the reactions of the fire fighters who immediately jumped on their engine and headed for the towers knowing they would be needed. Their faces and their fear but yet their willingness to go, simply because they were needed. I've never been able to watch that documentary twice. The sounds, the scenes, all to much to process and I wasn't even there. I remember realizing that the thumping noise I kept hearing was actually people impacting the ground or vehicles as they jumped to their death and realizing to how bad it had to have been on those upper floors to have made that choice. I will never forget the sound of the stillness after the collapse followed by the shrill sounds of the alarm that the firemen wore so that in case they were injured in a fire and still for more then the allowed time their fellow firefighters could find them and help them to safety. I'll never forget that sound...or when the sound finally stopped.

While reading articles the last few days I also visited the photo gallery of the things found during recovery for 9/11. It brought home to me how hard this must have been for those that did the searching and for those who waited for any word of their missing loved one. One worker said that they loaded 5 gallon buckets with debris and then searched through those for body fragments and anything else that they could maybe find. It's amazing to realize the care these men and women took in their search to find these small items for those who lost someone that day. It's also amazing to me to see what actually was found. That gallery can be seen here. It's worth the time to look through it and read their stories and to see the relics. http//www.msnbc.msn.com/id/44377182/displaymode/1247?beginSlide=1

9/11 is our Kennedy moment and we will never get the images out of our mind or our hearts. As we go about the day today, remembering where we were and what we were doing and trying to explain this anniversary to our children, remember to, Section 60 at Arlington National Cemetery. This is the section that our young soldiers are buried in who have fought and died since 9/11, trying to ensure that another 9/11 doesn't take place. We will never forget.

What you can learn from a photograph...

2010-05-05T11:08:00.000-07:00

In October 2007 my Grandfather died. I wrote a Eulogy for him that was read the day we buried him at the veterans cemetary in Vancouver. After it was read my Aunt Ginger turned around, grabbed my hand and said "Your writing mine." I laughed, said alright and tried to distance myself from that thought. It never left and August 1st of 2009 i sat down and sobbed to the news that I was now going to have to do exactly that. In my life and in my family, I'm the strong one, the one that handles it and moves everyone forward. This has been the strongest test yet of my faith and of my ability to handle it and move forward. Still 9 months later, a thought or a moment relived drops me to my knees. We Robinson's are a strong family, We WILL get thru, We WILL make her proud with our life and how we LIVE it, and We WILL see her again. Those things I know are true. Today I'm posting this as a way to share and heal just a little bit more. This is her Eulogy.

What you can learn from a photograph...

Sometimes when we look at a photo we look at composition, subject, all things eye pleasing… but do we see the bigger picture. Do we see the story behind the photos? Who a person was, who they loved, what was important to them? What does the story tell the generations that come after we are gone?

As I look at those photos of Aunt Ginger, I see a woman of great beauty, inside and out. One that had her heartaches and struggles but who never let them effect her hope in tomorrow and her faith in God. It’s obvious to see that these hardships never took her smile and tainted her heart. They made her stronger in faith and more loving in nature. She had a huge amount of love to give and she did so freely, without conditions. I‘ve never heard her raise her voice, never criticize, never try to hurt- only encourage us, pray for us, and voice her love for each of us so completely. There was never a day where you doubted that Aunt Ginger loved you, no matter how hard you may have been to love at that moment. She was the one you could talk to about anything, the one that would be there to help no matter what the need.

I see a wife in these photos that dearly loved her husband. I see a mother of two but a woman that was a mom to so many more. I see her with her sons and the pure and complete love that she has pouring out of her eyes for both Jason and Jacob. I see the pride she has in Jason for the job that he does, the son that he is and the father that he has become. I see the hope and the promise that she has in Jacob and feel her cheering him on to become the man that she knows he will be. She always believed her sons were born to make a difference in this world. They have and they will.

The Pictures of her grandchildren tell a story that is most obvious to see, She delighted in their visits and her face would shine in their presence. She was never to busy to stop what she was doing to give them whatever it was they needed.- a hug, a kiss, a kind word, a snack, play time with Nana, or baking a special treat. She cherished all of you and talked about you to anyone that would listen. Tyler, I see in you her patience and her gentle loving spirit as you interact with your younger cousins. Katelyn, You look like her and when you told me you loved me the other day I could hear her voice in yours, you have her capacity to love so deeply. Abby, You have her smile and that spark of Mischief in your eyes that we would so often see in hers . You also see into the hearts of those around you, just as she did. Olivia, You sweet girl, have her amazing sense of fun and adventure and hug just like her. Keep dancing for her. The time I spend with you four tells me a very important thing, You will make her proud.

As you look further you see that love expand to her brothers and her sisters, some related by blood, some related by marriage. She was the baby of the 5 and yet it was her that took over the roll of keeping the family together. She was a peacemaker, encourager, and the glue between them all. She would ask that you honor her by loving each other.

The photos also tell the story of how much she loved her Cousins, her Nieces and Nephews… You see the family gatherings that she hosted, the special gifts that she gave, the hugs and the affection that she had for each one of us. There were never too many of us at her house. Even on Easter when there were 20 some adults visiting and 12 or more Grandchildren and Great Nieces and Nephews running around on a sugar high, she lived for it, she loved it and she loved us all so, so much. Her house was always a home to anyone that wanted to come in and whatever she had was yours. Aunt Ginger, Our family traditions that you taught us to hold so dear will be continued in the generations to come. You have my promise.

You see her with her friends. Some she has known forever, some just a short time. One thing you all have in common is that she made a mark on your heart and you on hers. She loved you all and cherished her friendships. She encouraged you, listened to you, gave you a shoulder to cry one and made you all laugh. Thank You for your outpouring of love for our family and for honoring her today. She was a very lucky woman to have had you in her life and I know you feel the same about her.

Lastly I think about the one thing I see in ALL of her photographs that she so lovingly placed in albums, and that is without a doubt, a deep and abiding love for God. She was a woman that loved the Lord with all of her heart and all of her soul. She lived her life everyday in such a way that it was obvious to all of us around her. I take comfort in knowing that she is in Heaven with Grandpa and Grandma. Knowing that she’s waiting for us with her sweet smile and big hugs. Her greatest prayer, her greatest wish for all of us was that we’d all be there with her someday. My 35 years with her was not enough time. I‘m sure all of us that had the gift of knowing her, feel that none of our time with her was enough. We had more to learn, more to say, more to do but that wasn’t God’s plan and he called her home. She wouldn’t want anyone to be angry about that, she was looking forward to Heaven. She was also looking forward to someday meeting us there.

Thank You Aunt Ginger for loving all of us so well.
I love you,
Tamara

Remembering 9/11

2009-09-11T08:12:00.000-07:00

Every generation has their "Kennedy" moment of "where were you". Ours is 9/11.

I remember waking up to a phone call from my husband Bill. The first thing he said was " I need you to find Dad and Karen". Why? was my confused response. You see they were flying out from Seattle, Washington and heading to Washington DC. We both knew that. Why did I need to find them? He then told me that there had been an attack and the towers fell, airplanes were missing and I needed to see what I could find out. I actually argued with him that he had to be wrong because those towers wouldn't fall. The previous bombing hadn't done it, this one couldn't have either...right? I got off the phone, turned on the TV and my world changed in that moment. I scrambled to the phone and called Karen's sister and thankfully Bob and Karen were at their house. The airport had been closed and everyone turned around. I sank into the couch, called my friend Angie and left a message on her machine. I remember saying "Angie get up and turn on the TV". She called me back a few minutes later and told me she knew from the sound of my voice something was very wrong and we spent the rest of the day on the phone watching every channel we could and comparing notes in disbelief. I remember Peter Jennings talking to one woman on the phone that was looking for her husband. She was pregnant with twins and his two friends had made it out. The three men were good friends and inseparable but they couldn't find her husband. She just kept saying she had to find him, her and the babies needed him. I think about her often and wonder if she ever did find him- did he make it home or was he one of the lost? That's just one of the many stories that touched me that day and in the days and months to come as more stories emerged of ordinary people doing extraordinary things. It was a horrible moment in our history but it was a shining moment as well as we heard about the Flight 93 men and women who fought back. To this day when I use the expression "let's roll" to the kids I think of and pray for them and those they left behind . I also think of the stories of the police and firefighters and everyday citizens that risked everything to go into the towers that day and didn't make it out... And for those who did , they turned around and went right back in to rescue and then finally to recover their fellow man. That morning when my sweet little baby girl woke up I remember crushing her in my arms and thinking to myself that her world had just shifted and changed and she didn't even realize it. Some ask how God could have let it happen. I believe there is a reason for everything we endure. Sometimes we understand the reasons and other times we have to wait and see. Unfortunately we also have free will and those men that meant to do us harm that day, willingly and freely decided to go against everything that God commands. Was HE there? I know He was... and he had tears in his eyes. In the planes, in the halls of the tower, everywhere someone called out to him and needed him in that moment...He was there.

September 11, 2004 I was looking thru pictures of that day on a news site and my toddler, Justin was looking at them from my lap. We got to one picture and he stopped me cold when he said in his sweet little voice. "There's God." I started crying. I asked him again who it was and he looked up at me and said," mommy it's God." This is the picture posted below... Sometimes it's the kids that remind us that in our darkest moment, 9/11, the days that followed, or even August 1, 2009 when my Aunt was killed in a accident - God is there. Always...
...

Newest Addition

2009-07-10T15:01:00.000-07:00

This sweet girl is what was waiting for us in mommy's belly while I was taking all those photo's.

She's ADORABLE and we love having her in the family. We needed a little pink in our life.

Welcome sweet girl.

Love, Auntie.

Numb

2009-07-08T23:02:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I got involved in this Facebook thing. Found a good friend in China that wasn't supposed to be there according to what we last knew and my best friend and I joined on the spot. There's a downside to it. But for me the good far outweighs the bad. What I love the most is reconnecting with friends that I've lost touch with and always wondered what happened to. At their moment in my life, they made an impression on my heart and I never forgot. It's good to see their face again. To remember what it is that made them important enough to me not to ever forget. To hopefully reconnect and stay in touch. Today I saw a update that stopped me cold.

It read "Missing jessie. He passed july the 4th...we will miss you brother". I quickly emailed a note to see what was going on, praying it wasn't true and the response just made me numb and very very sad.

You see soon after I joined facebook Justin found me. I was so glad. He had been the one true friend my brother had growing up and another little brother in my heart. When my brother was picked on, Justin was his friend and stayed that way thru it all. He had a brother that was my age and he was the same kind of diamond in the rough. Played Mr. Tough but underneath Jessie had the heart of a giant. They went to school with us while living with their grandparents and only were in our lives for a short few years but they made their mark and always were in our thoughts and hearts. Both Justin and Jessie were good friends that didn't participate in the normal pecking order or ruthlessness that so often happens growing up. Gentle, Kind, Fun, and didn't we all have our wild moments?! Good memories! Great friends...

Jessie did die on July 4th in a freak accident. He left behind a wife, a brother and a lot of friends. I don't think he knew how many as I emailed some of the kids we grew up with to break the news. Everyone remembered him and it was with smiles and good memories. That's the true mark of a friend and Jessie was that and a lot more, especially to his family. As I reflect on this, I think of three things... One is that there is no guarantee in our lives- some of us will leave this world sooner the others. The second thing is what do we want to be remembered for after we're gone. The third is simply this, Find the people that made their mark on your heart and tell them. Spend time with them- reconnect. Do we want to be remembered for being so busy all the time or for being a true friend and making our mark on someones heart. That's something that's been on my heart a lot lately and that post about Jessie's death just brought it all home.

Goodbye my friend. Your gone but the mark you left will be here forever.

Practice on a willing participant!

2009-06-05T21:40:00.001-07:00

My sis in law has been a great sport letting me get in some maternity practice... I"m running out of time though but I am really looking forward to welcoming a sweet new little niece or nephew!

Hopefully She'll let me take baby pictures :)

Photography...

2009-05-19T19:12:00.000-07:00

Photography is something that I've always enjoyed. With my HS graduation money I bought a camera with part of the gift money I was given. My little Pentax served me well for many years. Then came the digital years and I rebelled. You see by then I had kids and there was no way those slow camera's were working for me- by the time I pressed the button to capture the moment the kids were gone and I was taking a picture of empty space. I had one or two experiences with point and shoot digital camera's that resulted in me giving them to my kids and I bought a Canon Elan 7NE film camera. I loved it. Then my husband was going off to Alaska fishing and there was no way he was taking my camera so I bought him a Panasonic the day he was leaving and told him to take pictures. He did and the camera was a great find. Finally it was what I wanted and needed a point and shoot to be. Last year when we were planning our trip to Disneyland I told Bill the one thing that concerned me was taking film thru x rays and airports. I've heard horror stories of people coming back from a wonderful vacation and having no pictures to show for it. That's when I got serious about a digital SLR and after much study and a trip to the camera store to see how my choices felt in hand I bought a Nikon D80. I haven't touched my film SLR since. I LOVE IT. Then of course came the need and burning desire to know how to use it... I mean why have it if I can't make it do what I want and use it to it's full potential. I'm also a big fan of photo journalistic family photography. I hated traditional posed photo's and it just made so much more sense to capture life as it was happening instead of creating it or making it look too created. I will admit there is some posing still in this type of photography but it's so much different. So much more artistic and I love thinking up ideas.

I'm learning, though I know I have a long way to go... That's the perfectionist in me. I want to give the potential client the best I possibly can. Where it will go- who knows. I would love to be able to make money doing this because you know the saying- do what you love and love what you do but I also know the other side of the coin and that's when you have a hobby you love and make it a business you no longer have time to do what you just want to do for the love of it. Time will tell and so will how far my skills and knowledge grow.

Here's a few more of my favorites...

Loyalty Day

2009-05-07T14:07:00.000-07:00

Loyalty Day is observed on May 1st in the United States. It is a day set aside for the reaffirmation of loyalty to the United States and for the recognition of the heritage of American freedom. It was first in acted in 1921, celebrated especially during WWII, and became an official holiday in 1958. Most Americans are not aware of it anymore- which to me is sad.

Long Beach, Washington has one of the only celebrations on the west coast the first weekend of every May. They rotate the branches of our military to honor them and this year it was the turn of the US Air Force. We were lucky enough to attend the Loyalty Day dinner and hear the speakers (Thanks Sid and Bette). One of which was Abraham Lincoln (real name Jim Getty). My mother in law told me that while it's not a big thing to have first person re-en actors on the west coast. The east coast is a different story. They have them at almost every historical sight. This particular "Mr. Lincoln" actually works at Gettysburg and he was wonderful. Not as tall as the real deal but his presentation was amazing. He even told about the use of hot air balloons in the Civil War to determine enemy troop positions so they could fire on them. The ironic thing was that the South actually had the gentleman who helped the Union with this project in their possession and traded him to the Union. http://www.centennialofflight.gov/essay/Lighter_than_air/Civil_War_balloons/LTA5.htm ) What a great tie in to the Air Force of today! He takes questions from the crowd as well and answers them as though it's Lincoln himself. What a lot of studying he's done because he knew his stuff.

Parade Day is Sunday at Long Beach and for years we've been lucky enough to be a part of it. First when Bill and I were dating as part of the Ocean Spray float. Let me just tell you it's still talked about to this day because we girls ran our rears off giving out Ocean Spray Cranberry products the whole length of the parade! Since we've been married and had children however- there seems to be a green obsession in the family. John Deere Green that is. ( Bill's father owns 3 antique John Deere Tractors and He and his wife have an AC tractor as well. The Allis Chalmers has been lovingly named Allison Charmers by our daughter and she prefers Orange a little bit more then green and yellow. She gets that from Grandma Karen.) Usually the tractors are in full force for the parade and we've even included a few Gators over the years to haul all of us. The kids love it and the little kids do too- haha. Bob's tractor club comes over and joins in the fun. There's really nothing more American to me then our military, our flag, our families, and a great American tractor. Thanks Long Beach for another great Loyalty Day. Hope you'll come on up and check it out someday, the parade is especially great. If you want to find us, just look for the Green and Yellow. http://funbeach.com/events/loyaltydays/index.html

Justin was sure of one thing...He was riding with Papa.

Neil saved the day! The Loyalty Day princess float broke down before the parade started so Neil towed it.

Told you she prefered Orange.

Where does the time go?

2009-01-08T00:13:00.000-08:00

This girl just turned nine. She is every bit her mother. She has a strong personality where everything is almost always black and white and once she sets her mind to something, it takes an act of God to change it. She worries to much and takes the weight of the world on her shoulders sometimes. She also knows way to much about politics for any nine year old.

She also has a heart for God and is amazingly thoughtful and kind. She has a gift of being able to look into a person's soul and sees things in people that others miss. She's also very smart and more talented then she realizes. Did I mention Funny? Cause she is. Natural comedic talent( and I fully expect an Oscar from her someday, Right after she cures cancer or teaches school in Sierra Leone, Africa.) She gets that funny stuff from her Mommy too :) She is a blessing and I love being her mommy

This big man is 6. And since he started life at 12 lbs. 1 oz. and is currently the same size as his sister, he uses it to his advantage. He loves to push his sister's buttons. Don't let the sweet smile fool you. He likes things to be just so and doesn't do well with keeping his promises to his sister. We're working on that.

He's also too much fun to be around. He's even funnier then his mother truth be told and can bring a laugh to everyone. He's got a sweet and sensitive spirit and like his great grandpa Leo, he makes a friend where ever he goes. He can also pray like no one's business. He is a blessing and I love being his mommy.

This little man is going to be 2!

He's the one with a strong personality.

He knows what he wants and he tries to get it even if it means giving his mommy a heart attack in the process . He has bitten his cousin. Hit his brother or sister on occasion and lets out a blood curdling scream should his brother or sister get in the way. Sometimes when your the youngest you've got to fight for ground. He's also very sweet and loving and a pure joy to be around. His laugh is contagious, he loves to help with laundry, play trucks with his brother and have his sister twirl him around. He shares most of the time and even at almost two he is able to see how to help someone who is hurting. Sometimes he takes a cup of milk to his cousin who is upset, or comes running to give a hug to an upset brother or sister. He is a blessing and I love being his mommy.

What would Jesus buy?

2008-12-16T08:42:00.000-08:00

Warning. I'm about to get on my soap box.
This time of year is really hard for me. I love the idea of family, friends, celebrating Christ's birth but I hate the commercial aspect of it that seems to have taken over. Every year I feel empty and a bit depressed when it's all over. More so since reading about the Walmart worker that was trampled to death because a lot of people had to get the best deal after Thanksgiving. Is that who we are as a people? I hope not. I, like everyone else who believes that Christmas is the time we celebrate Christ's birth, struggle with teaching the kids the real meaning of Christmas and not the meaning that is pushed by the commercialism that engulfs our nation. Years ago we switched and limited our gift giving with the kids cause frankly they were bored opening one gift after another. Each kid gets three gifts cause if it was good enough for Jesus it's good enough for them. They love it by the way. They actually get to go slowly and play with what they've been given instead of being rushed on to the next wrapped present. We bake a birthday cake for Jesus, we read the Christmas Story in the bible and if I ever get ahead and prepare, we'll implement Advent.

Did you know that America alone spends $ 450 BILLION on Christmas every year. We shop shop shop, A lot of people rack up debt they can't afford, Suffer the traffic jams and fights over parking spots, face an overwhelming to do list and really we get a lot of gifts that are fun but we can live without. Why? Cause we believe we have to. Did you know that 1.8 million people die every year from water born illnesses. That includes 3,900 children a day. People die cause they don't have clean water to drink? It's one of the leading causes of death in the third world. Did you know that the total estimated cost to bring clean water to everyone world wide is $ 10 Billion. $ 10 billion and people are still dying because they don't have a resource we take for granted. So I found this web site mentioned on another blog I enjoy reading and I hope everyone checks it out. http://www.adventconspiracy.org/ .
Now I realize that it's a little late in the season to plan something different this year but I'm thinking that maybe other people feel the same way I do and may want to make a few changes for next year or thru the year in 2009. As for us, After discussing it with the kids, we've decided to do a lot of stuff different next year. Their excited about it and for once, I feel an overwhelming excitement for Christmas. We're not buying presents for each other. We're making them and taking the money and sponsoring a water project. At our church we have a saying.We pray, we go, we do. I can't think of a better way to honor Jesus on his birthday and to put the focus back on "it's better to give then to receive" then to fund a project that will save lives.
Now I really hope that this doesn't come across as we're patting ourselves on the back or we're doing this, you should to. It's more of a -look, one person really can make a difference, or rather 10 billion differences, one person at a time.
ps-
Imagine my suprise as I did more research on Advent Conspiracy and under the Give Water heading and in the 2008 section, there's a article that talks about the wells and Saah Joseph. We've been supporting Saah since he went back to Sierra Leone. WOW. Small world and God is in control.
If you'd like to read more about Saah, here's a link . He's an amazing person with an amazing story and Willamette Medical Teams is doing some great work in the area as well. http://willamettemedicalteams.org/saahsstory.asp .

See

2008-05-09T09:39:00.000-07:00

While there is perhaps a province in which the photograph can tell us nothing more than what we see with our own eyes, there is another in which it proves to us how little our eyes permit us to see.

- Dorothea Lang

I've been going back thru my pictures and organizing them for a class I've been taking. Some of them really just about bring me to tears. Like this one... I remember taking this picture. It was in 2005 and I was walking out the door to get my film developed at Costco. I noticed I had one shot left and called to McKenna. She turned around and I took it. It's by no means a work of art- but it is to me. I remember getting it back and saying to Bill, when did she get so big? Sometimes in a picture it brings it all home loud and clear that time is passing on and things change. She's getting bigger...She'll be off to college in 10 years... She won't be home with me forever. I am blessed to be here with her everyday but yet it takes a picture ever so often to remind me that I better cherish those days a little more because they won't last forever.

10 Years Ago Today...

2008-04-18T09:37:00.000-07:00

We got married. Time really does fly when your having fun! We both agreed over dinner last night that it doesn't seem like it's been 10 years but here we are. I'm sure we'll be saying the same thing when it's been 20 years.

For me the last 10 years have been a journey. Marriage isn't easy, it takes a lot of work. There's ups and downs and moments of complete insanity but it's worth every tear, every compromise, every laugh...every everything.

I'm thankful for the family members that I have that have been married for 60 + years. They've walked in my shoes and been great role models and sources of advice about what it takes to be happily married in today's world. They help me to remember the little things that nourish the heart.

I'm especially thankful for a husband that loves me and our kids so well. He has a kind and compassionate heart. He looks for the good in everything. He sees a need and quietly meets it not only for us but for those around us. He even helps in the kitchen ( Grandma Eva would be proud)! He's my everything and 10 years ago today we made one of the smartest decisions in our life... We said "I do".

First Egg Hunt

2008-04-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

Every year we spend Easter at my Aunt Ginger and Uncle Terry's house in Salem. It's become a great tradition and it's always a lot of fun for the kids and the adults alike. I have a large family and extended family and once the food has been eaten the men head outside with several hundered chocolate filled eggs and start hiding them. What happens next is pure joy to watch. There's usually no less then 10 excited children that come rushing into the yard to find eggs as fast as they can. The older kids are great with the smaller ones and have as much fun watching them or helping them as they do finding their own eggs.

This year was Jason's first year for the egg hunt and was he ever excited. He had no idea what's in those eggs but it's all about being outside and finding a little something that you usually don't see. He was new to shoes however, and so for every step he took it seemed like he was falling down in the mud and the grass. He didn't care. I took several pictures of him then moved on to snap as many pictures as I could of the other kids before the eggs were all collected. It goes fast! As I turned around to head back to the main yard I see my baby covered in mud from head to toe and my cousins gathering around to see what my reaction would be.( I'm a bit of a stick in the mud about getting too dirty) Bill said he reached for a egg and over he went... But he came up with the egg in hand and a smile on his face... really could you ask for more? I just laughed and captured the moment.

PS- How lucky am I to have a husband like that! Our 10th Anniversary is a few days away and it gets me thinking, but I'll save that for another post. :)

Happy 80th Mr. Rogers

2008-03-20T16:02:00.000-07:00

You may not have known it, but today was National Wear a Sweater Day in honor of Mr. Fred Rogers 80th Birthday. As a kid I watched Mr. Rogers and as a young adult I wondered why he was still on the air. Then you have your own kids and Mr. Rogers becomes magical again. Watching with McKenna and then Justin you learn to appreciate him for the good man that he was and the lessons he worked so hard to teach to millions of kids for all those years. You long to live in a neighboorhood like his where everyone knows everyone and treats each other with kindness. You wish you could live in the Land of Make Believe with King Friday, Daniel and the rest of the gang and share in their adventures. It would be nice if tv today had a little more of what Mr. Rogers had to offer.

About 3 years ago there was a Mr. Rogers exhibit in Portland that we took the kids too. I'm not sure who had more fun, them or me. I'm looking forward to introducing Jason to the show someday. If you have a chance you should grab a sweater and spend a half hour with Mr. Rogers. It's time well spent.

Living Life- the good, the bad, and the ugly

2008-03-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

Been a rough few weeks here with sick babies. We made it thru and thankfully everyone seems to be on the road to recovery. Ran across this quote a while back and it really seems to grab my attention everytime I read it. Thought I'd share.

I will not die an unlived life. I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire. I choose to inhabit my days, to allow my living to open me, to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing, a torch, a promise. I choose to risk my significance; to live so that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.
- Dawna Markova.

Like Father, Like Son

2008-02-23T20:28:00.000-08:00

It's tough work being a dad of three. Even tougher work being a big one year old that wants to run rather then walk.

They seem to have napping figured out though!